I wanted to tell her that -- while we're trolling around for images from urban culture to keep an edgy tone for shoe sales to young and impressionable men -- I had some more ideas for keepin' it real.

Dog fighting certainly makes images of Tiger Woods or Michael Jordan "just doing it" seem pretty mild by comparison. Why not, I thought, include in that video montage of street ball an image of some guy hitting a crack pipe before playing some hoops. That might be just the edgy tone Nike is looking for.

That's street.

Or maybe news footage of youths in serious need of parental guidance ransacking and looting a downtown store full of Nikes after the home team wins the Super Bowl or the NBA championships. That would be cool. You know: Winning at all costs. The Battle.

Just loot it.

I called Wieden and Kennedy, the Pacific Northwest ad agency that does Nike's TV spots, but they weren't talking very much. As I hemmed and hawed about my reason for calling, an agency spokeswoman said: "You're calling about the dogs, aren't you?"

She told me the only calls the agency had received were from "a guy in Tennessee who rescues dogs and some lady in Florida who collects strays" and basically made the complainers sound like mostly cranks and kooks.