Thanks for joining me Over Coffee
A writer by passion and profession, I've been writing since I was old enough to know how, so establishing a weblog
seemed a natural progression. By adding a blog to my site, I can speak about my passions and life, share my writing, art
and photos, and comment on current events.
Friday, March 21, 2003
For Randy and Sherry Randy died this morning. You don't know him, of course. I didn't know him that well, either. Not really--not in a close way--but he was a good person, and now he is gone. It is truly all our loss.
Two and a half years ago, Randy and I were in the same orientation class. When we met in the hallway or kitchen, we exchanged pleasantries--he always wore a big smile (and frequently big ol' cowboy boots). He was a nice, friendly man who loved his wife, and she loved him. You could see it in their eyes and faces. They never had children, just a cat, and you could see they were the entire world to each other. He came to work here because of her. And they worked together happily.
Last fall I learned that Randy had pancreatic cancer, and it was basically eating him alive. He was diagnosed in September, and he was on disability and home full-time by November when the company grapevine made it all the way to me. A co-worker friend and I found out at the same time. We wanted to help so went and worked in their yard one Saturday afternoon--nothing big, just raking leaves and cleaning gutters. We gave Sherry a gift basket with tea and cookies and such to make sure she was looking after herself too while caring for Randy, and she gave us donuts and mugs of hot cocoa to express her thanks.
Tuesday I heard that his doctor had given him about two more weeks. I wept. He'd become disoriented and fallen, I learned. He needed Sherry all the time and there was talk of a hospice. I imagined what my heart would feel like to lose the love of my life, and it crushed me -- broke my own heart to imagine hers. And I thought of how sunny and cheery Randy always was...now he was gravely thin and jaundice, they told me.
Today someone whispered, "Sherry's on the phone, Randy passed away this morning."
Now I can't stop the tears. Another couple who work here had visited him just last night. She told us how Sherry had wallpapered his bedroom wall with the cards he'd received from friends. She said that Randy, having been hooked up to a morphine IV for the pain, was talking and joking with them. Her husband told Randy not worry--they would look after Sherry when the time came. Maybe it was the reassurance he needed. He slipped away quietly this morning with Sherry by his side, they said.
On the one hand, I know that his suffering has ended. Whether there's an afterlife or not, at least his pain is done. On the other, I know that even with what she already has endured during his fast-paced illness, Sherry's suffering has just begun. And the world seems just a little darker today.
Listed below are some charities that either perform cancer research or treat cancer patients. All of them have been pulled from PETA's Caring Consumer pages so none of them test on animals. Maybe if you feel inclined, you'll donate a few dollars and think of Randy and Sherry...